he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
