Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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