Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
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