My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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