Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
