May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
