Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
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