Three words: puerto rican gang bang
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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