did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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