I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
