i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
