Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
