Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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