If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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