i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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