CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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