The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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