At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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