I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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