I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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