Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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