then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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