So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
