I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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