You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize