Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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