I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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