Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
