I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize