things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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