erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
