dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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