Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
