I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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