i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
