it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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