Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
