how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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