I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
the condom got lost in my hair
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
