Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
