i think my tv is drunk
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
