ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Quick, to the slutcave!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
