we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The struggles of a small town man whore
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
