DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
