he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
