she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My breasts were aching with rage.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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