why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
