I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
