i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I understand Curling. That high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
