Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
