I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
