So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I know her cup size but not her name....
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
