I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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