At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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