Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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