Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
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