So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize