Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
