i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
