I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
