It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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