shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
