Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize