i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
