ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
