I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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